little rant

Confession: I'm lonely.
I've been lonely before and just like then this is a phase it'll pass. I can't really expect to be freed of loneliness though. A, it's me and I'm normally only happy if I'm complaining and B, I moved to Ottawa for a job that is now over. I didn't move to Ottawa because my friends are here or to follow a boyfriend. C and R are here but they are together and I can't really expect to intrude on that too often. S and D are here, but they'd rather hang out with their jewish friends then R, C and I. That was evident when S cancelled dinner plans the other day.

Growing up though I had my parents and friends that were always there. Then I was at school and was always (except for one summer) living with people and then i was living with Mike and then I lived with a sister and then I moved in with another sister. But now I'm 6-7 hours away from all that i know. My friends and family are a phone call away but still...away.

So I sit here with my days contempting what i can all do alone and it's a sad thought. Because i'm plagued by the thought that these days represent many more days to come. Life should pick up though, shortly, I'm not worried.