What a night!!

I rested my head against the back of the drivers seat as my friends and I were driving away from the “ladies laugh night.” I had drank too much, that was all of a sudden evident. The drink tickets cost $3 for one or 7 for $20. For some reason you always think that there is a deal when they sell more at once. I should have realized that then, I was still sober at that time. I was disappointed with the night. The comedians were lame men who weren’t told that it was an all ladies event and gave their normal routine. The pole dancer seemed bitchy and thought that our 2 minutes of learning to shake our ass was going to get us far and the other lady… well, I actually don’t know why she was there or what she was talking about. I think she was telling us to strip, that’s what the next day conversation implied anyways. I don’t recall her story, I either was in the bathroom chatting with my new friend, chatting with the lady beside me or had had too much to drink at this point and my memory was fading faster then I could finish whatever beverage I was working on.

But I remember holding my head against the back of the drivers seat and thinking that the drive back to Mel’s seemed a lot longer then it should have. I don’t like motion when I’ve had that much to drink. I wondered how I was going to get out of the car when we got to Mel’s and inside into the basement. I wondered if I was maybe actually finally going to forget something that happened while I was drunk. I wondered if I was going to pass out in the car and if the girls could carry me back into the house, or what they would do with me. And I wondered again why the trip was taking so long to get back to Mel’s. I had too much to drink and just wanted to go home.

So with my head leaning against the back of the drivers seat I realized that we were on our way to St. Thomas to party more. I knew then that I was going to ruin the fun night the ladies were bound to have. They were going to have to shorten their dancing time because I refused to go into the bar, I was going to sleep in the back seat no matter what they felt about it. It was when we parked that Jill had wondered why I still hadn’t lifted my head. She asked if I was okay and I remember shaking my head, my headache and the dizziness consumed me and I didn’t have time to tell the ladies to go and enjoy their time because I had made up my mind that I was going to sleep in the car. Instead, that’s when I puked. I cupped my hands and made sure I didn’t get it on the floor of the Honda.

I have a fondness of Honda’s and more then anything now I want a Civic, my heart will break if I have to settle for something else. For some reason I have standards in every aspect of my life. Dancing in a St. Thomas club is also something that I have standards against doing.

So with my puke in my hands and my head still against the seat I heard the words “don’t puke in the car!!” and as those words left Darla’s mouth I puked again. This time it spill over my hands and I couldn’t hold it anymore and puked again and again on the floor of the Honda. Then, I was pulled outside and placed on a rock where I proceeded to puke again. I was cold and really wanted to sit back in the car, but for reasons a sober person understands I wasn’t allowed back. I was reassured that I wasn’t going to die because both Michelle and Darla were nurses. However as I puked and held my stomach and my face away from the gravel I wondered why I wasn’t put in the Bockus position. With the two years of frosh training I had, I felt I should put myself in the bockus position, but I was with two nurses, they’d help if I needed it.

Apparently while I was recovering in the parking lot my friends on a mission to get me a glass of water. Like every good mission there are obstacles. This poindeckster was named Becky. She’s the reason we went dancing in the first place. She thought that since she looked so damn good she wanted to go show her ex-boyfriend what he was missing. (Becky, he cheated on you because he’s a loser and you’re a loser for thinking that holding on to him is going to bring him so much pain and regret for cheating on you.) I don’t know the whole story about the mission, but for some reason Becky had no concern that I was puking and was annoyed that she had to leave early and that she missed her chance to see her ex. She looked good she thought and needed to prove to the town of St. Thomas that she was somebody.

Finally as we pulled out of the parking lot and I had let it all out of my system we were off. I had a bucket in my lap while Steph convinced me to continually rinse out my mouth with the water they had stolen from the bar. The last thing I remember Becky saying that night was “Wait, stop the car!! There’s Gord. I have to show him how hot I am and what he’s missing! Stop the car, we have to go back to the bar!!”

What a loser, I hoped I puked on her.