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Today was a good day. I went with my sister to the Lifefest show in Toronto. This is a women’s show with a crapload of sponsors meaning a great deal of free stuff. I walked away with stuff I doubt I will ever use, but it was free. I have two different types of shaving cream. I mean, I use shaving cream, but not everyday and I don’t bath in it. I have samples of lotions and vitamins that will sit in my drawer for a while before I realize they have gone beyond their best before date and then I throw out what I haven’t used, for the past four years. Along with the free stuff there were speakers, and demonstrations and of course pamphlets that I plan on reading, but probably won’t for a while. I don’t think this event is unimaginable and I don’t feel like describing a room full of booths but just merely wanted to say that I had a great day and scored some goods.

I think I have a new crush. He’s a boy that I’ve chatted with for a while now but never thought about him as more then a friend. Today I spent the whole day telling my sister details of my past conversation with him and thinking about him and wanting to tell him about the day. But I wonder if this is just me wanting a companion. I have no life besides my msn and am looking for excitement in anyone paying attention to me. He’s cute though and he’s sensitive (I think) and we seem to be able to chat for a while about anything. But it comes back to me running from what I have and chasing what I can’t have and as soon as I find out where he stands I am confused. But this isn’t a Mark or Tyler situation. I’m not in awe, I’m not so taken aback that I’m not sleeping or eating because I know he exists. And I want that, I want to feel that my man is a gift from God and that my life won’t go on if it doesn’t happen. This seems like it’s a convenience thing, like its need for companionship and he’s just the best one in line.

I’m done my phase of wanting to be single though. I know it didn’t last long but the other day I starting reading this book called “How To Meet Men As Smart As You” to prepare myself for a new relationship and where I should go to meet people. I can’t say I read it in great depth though, I merely skimmed the pages while watching Operah. My brother-in-law picked it up for me the other day and I’m not sure if he is hinting I should be dating or if he merely just thought of me and picked it up. (I also have the book “He’s just not into you” out of the same situation.) I’m not in the phase of my life where I am out meeting people and enjoying my time. I’ll be a burden to a boyfriend and use them to vent about my boredom rather then using them as an exciting escape from my monotonous working day. However, my four weddings that I will be attending this summer leave me wondering whether I should bring a date or attend them alone while all my friends have dates.

So I feel I have much to sleep on.