Dear Sarah

After reading your blog today I thought that I would rather address your issues in my blog then write about the list of items I have planned to write about eventually. It pains me to hear about your heartbreak but we all go through it and yes you will fall in love.

Sarah, is a blog-ger who has began reading and commenting on my blog lately and I have taken much encouragement from her positive notes and from reading how she has been and is going through much the same issues in life as I am. I think that women seek companionship and love while men seek security and fun. This is not always the case, but as for Sarah and I, I think it is.

Sarah, you will find love and it’s going to happen when you least expect it. People tell me that and I fail to believe them or I find myself expecting to meet someone because of such an unlikely place and because I feel like I’m not expecting anything. But what it is, is that when we aren’t expecting a relationship to happen or seeking one we have brought our hearts into contentment and have begun to meet our own needs in turn learning how to please ourselves making us seem pleased and enjoyable. It is also at this time when we are less concerned about starting something with a guy when he appears and then we place less pressure on the start of a relationship. If too much pressure is placed on a guy from the start and the women shows too much need the guy will run. Because A, I would run too and B, it seems to happen all the time with me. Now I’m not saying that you have it all wrong I’m just giving my opinion on the male race that we can’t seem to live without and am trying to suggest that you need to make yourself happy and be content with your life before a guy will come along. You are beautiful and the right guy will come along.

I myself have a hard time explaining the definition of love. Though my parents are still together, I am a victim of abuse and the love I did see growing up was directed at my brother who was the sick child and then later known as the comedian. The relationships I’ve had with boys and men have been merely crushes and I have endured hardships and mental pain to be with them, not from love, but from a need of companionship. The first time I knew I felt love was when my nephew was born and then again with my nieces. Plus I can say that I love my cat. But if that deep feeling of admiration and pure happiness is the same love that you feel with men who supposedly love, I’ve never felt it.

I know that the search for our ideal companion can seem very hopeless when we see relationships that we have envied fail. But we don’t see everything all the time and we don’t see the list of wants and needs that our fellow ladies have. Some men also just can’t provide us with our needs. Just because something we thought was perfect wasn’t, doesn’t mean that we need to give up our views of perfection. Don’t settle and don’t give up hope that your Prince Charming is out there.

I hope I’ve helped ease some thoughts.

Sincerely,
Martha