asking God why....

As a good mennonite kid i grew up not asking questions, and i grew up in the church. Things that happened always happened for a reason. I never knew the reason, often guessed at it, but i knew that God would unveel his plan eventually to the person it mattered to. I was sad when things happened, like when my cat died or when Rhonda was taken or when Liona's dad died. I asked question about life and death and why i was who i was and where i was, but i never directed those thoughts to God. I was 22 before i really said "why God why?" I don't think i had prayed for as much or depended on prayer as much as i did when my cousin Sara was diagonsed with cancer. I have a fear of death and most likely from my parents constantly listening to the obitchuaries and picking up the Aylmer Express and only buying it if someone they new was on the back page. So when Sara was dealing with her cancer i feared that she would soon leave us, and when she did, i remember being in Manitoba for her funeral and being on a walk at my sisters place. I must have been walking for 10 mintues before i saw the neighbours house in the distance, talk about being in the country. Well it was there that i really sat down and directed anger to God, there was a reason why her, i knew that, but why her why now and why so young and why not me instead.

I mention questioning God, because i don't do it much. I mean, i've always prayed, less now then before, but now i wonder and listen up God, cause your the only one that can answer, but how can you let a church burn? I ask this because you often don't hear about churches perishing in flames, you hear about houses and the loss that people go through, but why a church. How could you let a church, your home God, burn?? I know it's not the extent to the question "if you are the choosen one, why won't you save yourself?" but it's along those lines. If you have all the power, why would you let the house of the Lord burn. I guess i may need to do some reading about the age of the church and what caused the fire, but what good could come of the gathering house of so many christians being ruined. I mean, i'd be devasted if the Mt. Salem church caught flames. I haven't gone there for a while and by the looks of the congregation when i do go, many people who once filled the pews no longer do either.

well i've looked for the article with no luck. this church was in Brantford and called St. Andrew's United. I guess i was wrong in saying that you don't often hear about Churches catching fire because as i typed in "church fire" i get 1 850 000 sites. And when i add "st. Andrew's" i narrow it down to 185 000 sites. Well this entry doesn't seem to be as good as i imagined it would be as i was thinking about writing it sitting in the hottub an hour ago. But still, maybe it makes you think.