A Reason, A Season and A Lifetime

“A reason, a season and a lifetime” says my brother-in-law about the span of friends through the years. Which, I guess, is true. I hate to admit it, but with my experiences throughout university I have learned that it might be true. I’m not stating that I’ve had a rough social life within those years and I’m not trying to be sentimental with a handful of experiences to ease you through a loss of a friend. But, what is life if you can’t learn from your past and scratch out the “ML&MB BFF” that you’ve scribbled everywhere in a possible attempt to seal the deal. (best friends forever).

A recent situation has brought this topic close to my mind. The bottom line is, if your going to say your going to be at a gathering of a group of your friends and then not show up your kind of giving the impression that you don’t care for your friends as much as they thought you did and as a friend probably should. So now I ask the question, is she a reason or a season, ‘cause I’m betting ten to one that she’s not a lifer. I’d hate to paint a picture of me being shallow and not giving her a chance to explain, some of you may feel that if this is her first offence, she was just caught up with something. Hold that thought though, because this isn’t her first offence. This friend was a good friend in high school and I think the best type would be seasonal. Those four years evolved around the L corridor social group, us ten ladies were very different, but somehow we created a friendship and loved each other’s presence. It’s typical to loose friends in the transition out of high school and I am aware that I’ll never see some people again that I was once excellent friends with. So highschool and the common location is a good season reason, but lately she got married. I was surprised to be invited to her wedding, but yet would have been very annoyed if I was not. We attending universities in the same town and I tried very hard to keep in touch. However, my efforts seemed to be not much more then a kind gesture and a backup plan if her new and cool friends were busy. But her engagement was announced and within months we, the group of high school friends, were invited to bridal showers, stag and does, and the bachelorette party. At the wedding she chummed up with us as though this is the best party we’ve been at together and these memories are going to stay with us forever and she was so glad that we were there. (Well Mags, I hope you have fun with those memories). The reason: a large number of gifts and a large number of people to help create the illusion that she is a great person with many friends. I mean, I don’t regret going to the wedding at all and I don’t regret trying to maintain the friendship but I feel that I deserve a reason for the no show. I could go on and on about our friendship and rant about the good and the bad times, but I have other friends that deserve mention.

And these friends who deserve mention are known as the lifers. I don’t want to name names (and therefore lacking to give appropriate mention) but if are wondering if you might be a lifer in my life, the chances are good if the effort is there (on both ends).

It turns out I don’t have much to say about lifers, but that I love you most of all and always will and I’m not going to promise but I’m going to be friends with you even after I’m married.

Martha