The email... it finally came

In my drunken frustration, I sent my two friends who failed to show up at my other friend’s birthday party an email. I felt that as a group of people who are trying to remain friends with these two people we’ve been rejected and ignored long enough. Like I said in my ‘A Reason, A season, and a Lifetime’ blog since the wedding the one girl has slacked at responding to our attempts at getting ahold of her. So in conversation between the ladies they decided that these two girls deserve an email, I jumped up and decided that they needed an email at that very moment. I had such phrases as:

-We were all excited to hear the wedding stories and seeing the honeymoon pictures, but we have not heard from you about you not coming and feel that at this time you will be a no show.
-Very disappointed because as friends, we have not seen either of you for a while and feel that this would have been a great day to exchange stories and see each other before we all begin our lives for the new year
-the party here is going well so far and as you can see i'm sitting here typing to you both because we/I feel that it is important to still include you ladies in the days events.
-Please let us know what’s up?? Did we do something wrong?? did we buy the wrong lingerie?? Anyways, we all feel disappointed and used.
-Love Martha and the gang

The next morning we anxiously checked our email and waited patently for the reply to this, semi harsh, but more so just blunt email. Finally about a week later it came.

This email was well thought out and taken the stance that she is right and feels shocked that we felt “used and disappointed”. Her email stated her reasons and responses to my email:

-During the holidays Andrew and I had a car accident on the 401. There was a truck part on the road and we hit it and it caused a lot of damage to our car. (this is her husband’s second car accident in the four years that I have known him, and no car means no car, that didn’t just happen the day before)
-[My husband] had to drive up north to go pick [his sisters] up and then bring them back. It ended up taking way longer than expected (Driving to and from Halliburton takes over 2 hours one way, I’d assume it’s safe to phone the friends and tell them not to expect you)
-In general our holidays were really stressful because of the accident and work and I didn't even get a chance to see my family. (that sucks, but not our problem) There were a lot of expecations from Andrew's family (I got that assumption at the wedding after seeing that she gave in to their wants and dreams but gave up her own), my family, our youth group and our friends....and it feels like I didn't meet any of them but I spent the whole holiday trying to make everyone happy. (oh boo hoo)
-Now, I am not sure if this e-mail was composed by all of you or mostly Martha, but I would like affirmation that everything is ok....because I got an overal negative vibe from it and I want things to be cleared up. (Yeah, my name was mentioned!! Of course the email had a negative vibe, do you think I’m going to be happy about being stood up, luckily I wasn’t alone at the mall for 8 hours that would have sucked if had waited that long)

So I don’t mean to sound insensitive about a car accident, and I’m really very sorry that married life is more stressful then she had pictured. But not having a car means, no car, and if it looks tight then give the host a call, we’d understand. But so far all we’ve seen is her name (always set to away) on msn and haven’t heard anything from her.

So the last line kind of implied that I should be the one to reply to the email. I thought I should take the blame and state that I was the one frustrated with her absence, but to my surprise my friend had sent the reply before I got a chance to. I was very impressed with what she wrote:

-I am sorry that you got in a car accident but I am glad to hear that you are okay.
-It is ok that you could not make it to the party, problems can arise, but all I would ask is for a call from you to let me know that both of you would not be able to make it
-The last email was from all of us. (phew, I’m off the hook) Frankly, we feel that ever since the wedding you have dropped off the face of the earth. For example, I wouldn't have known even where you went for your honeymoon if I hadn't asked anyone. Even an update through email would be great.
-Everyone misses everyone and things are not the same anymore…but we have all got to make an effort to get together and keep in touch...that is all.

And that has been it so far. There has been no reply from her or anyone else so far. I think all has been said and all has been forgiven, but time is running out and as each day goes by I need to distinguish whom I should all invite to my wedding. I mean, if your going to sit on my friendship fence like this then maybe I’ll only invite you to my bridle showers and not the wedding. Time is money people, and even though my wedding won’t happen for at least 5 more years I need your friendships. Who else will buy me my much needed kitchen supplies?

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed the insight to my petty friendship problems

Martha